Masters of Rachology: A Guest Post by SLS aka The Husband

Let me start out by saying I kinda like my nickname “SLS”. It’s pretty catchy and it is much easier than saying Jason. I’ve never really had a nickname. Usually people call me Sobel, Jay or Jay Sobel, so I am gonna keep it and rock it proud. On the flip side, I definitely get teased a bit by my friends with the occasional “Oh SLS” or hashtag Sobelyeverafter. I guess I will just chalk it up to jealousy.

Anyway, it is very easy for me to appear to see the silver lining in everything when my loving wife, though she will deny it, tends to jump to the worst-case scenario. You see as long as I don’t have the doomsday opinion I am gonna be looked at as seeing the silver lining. Usually, a situation will arise and I will hear the words “babe, I’m gonna lose my mind” and I know that as long as I don’t take the negative route it’s all gonna sound like puppies and flowers.

Now, I tend to hear the terms “babe I’m gonna lose my mind” and “don’t make me feel like I am crazy” on a daily basis for one reason or another. Most of the time this is not because of something I personally did (well ok sometimes, but it’s mostly my dogs) At this point I mobilize. I start calculating the bright side to the issue, if it can be fixed and then I do it and simultaneously, always reach for the bottle of wine. In one swift move I tell her how everything is, and will be better, hug her and pour a glass of wine down her throat while debating on whether I should throw a Xanax in her wine. I’m like the silver lining superman.

Maybe I am exaggerating a bit, there is usually long talks, hugging, crying (she’s a crier, like bad)

kkcry

and multiple glasses of wine for both of us. But it does end with her not planning for the zombie apocalypse.

zombie

Being a Rachel handler is a lot, a lot of work. It always keeps me on my toes and I literally have no idea what I am walking into when I open the front door after work on any given day.

handler

Day 1

Me: Hey beautiful, how was your day?

R: It was ok, this that and the other thing happened….

Day 2

Me: Hey babe, how was your day?

R: I had a good day, I made 7 sales in my new ponzi scheme, I mean business venture

Day 3

Me: Hey gorgeous, how was your day?

R: Sunshine and fuckin rainbows, why do you always ask me that?

 

Activate Silver Lining Superman

 

I will definitely say I didn’t earn my Master’s of Rachology without a little help.

grad

You see, every day as I am dealing with all things Rachel, Rachel is dealing with all things Arlyne. Very similar situations and ridiculousness. I learn lots of tips and tricks on what to say, how to say it and when to just back away and pour the wine.

baller

If only everyone could be a fly on the wall listening to Arlyne and Rachel talk about anything and then hear a very similar conversation between Rachel and I a few minutes later. I love my wife and mother-in-law more than anything. They make me laugh until my stomach hurts, love me with all their hearts and drive me crazy in the process. I love every minute of it, good bad or indifferent and I wouldn’t change a fucking thing.

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