I Pity the Fool – NEW From Lifestyle Magazine

Being a mom means being bombarded with TONS of advice. Some good, some bad and some just downright annoying. The worst of it though, is the unsolicited advice.

I have a picky eater, who won’t take medicine, and still wakes up multiple times a night to come and get me to lay with her. And there are always those women who think they are going to save me. They seem to think they have all the answers and will not stop shoving them down my throat.

preach

Please for the love of god, just stop.

My child is never going to let me hide meds in chocolate pudding or applesauce – because she won’t eat those things on a regular day. She’s also not going to stay in her bed because I make a glittery sticker chart. I’m well aware of areas that need to be worked on, but would love a little support instead of passive aggressive “suggestions”. I know i’m not alone!

This is such a hot button topic for me, that it’s what I wrote about in my April Lifestyle Magazine column. BTDubs, That’s me channeling Mr. T…get it?

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5 thoughts on “I Pity the Fool – NEW From Lifestyle Magazine

  1. Rachel your daughter is PERFECT!! What ever you are doing is great!!! Don’t listen to obnoxious advice. Those who are giving it to you will probably have to deal with out of hand teenagers!! (I hope) lol. They should be taking advice from YOU!!!
    Love reading your blogs!! Keep up the good work!!❤️

  2. You know I love and respect you Rachel but I cannot let this one pass by silently. And I am not a mom, so I pass your pre-qualification of advice you take serious, perhaps. Reading your blog this comment has been on the tip of my tongue for a while.

    I see you often describe the struggles of undesired consequences without paying homage to the root-cause connection. And depravity of reason is the outcome of the confounding of consequence and cause. A depravity perhaps feverishly consumed and subscribed to by parents with the same struggles. And much money can and has been made off the sharing of fears and insecurities of mankind. I’ll refrain from mentioning other examples.

    You are the parent of your child, and you are responsible for the leadership (cause) that can and will eradicate many undesired consequences of your child’s behavior, that will also have an impact on your state of mind and well-being. Picky eaters are created by a lack of parental leadership early-on, a laissez-faire (and tired of confrontation) attitude children with a brain are soon to take cunning advantage of. We humans are after all mere animals, with a territorial dominance and drive already present at birth.

    Whenever my child asks me for something to eat or drink I remind myself of a conversation I had with an eye-doctor who once told me he can look in children’s eyes and see how they are being parented. As the smallest veins in your body will show the early signs of scraping and clotting as a result of the food a child wants to eat, but shouldn’t. Frankly he stated, letting your child decide on her food intake is long-term child abuse, negatively affecting her health later on in life. My supplement: your long-term health (and of those around you) is affected when you do not sleep enough. People who do not sleep enough are more prone to diseases like Alzheimers, courtesy of you brain not being sufficiently “dish-washed” at night.

    So, the consequences you describe on your blog are not as innocent and cute as the lightheartedness of your writing would suggest. And covering consequences with proverbial bandaids disguised as advice by people with the same affliction will not resolve to cause.

    The consequences of letting a child decide how they are being raised stems often from deeply rooted yet unresolved parental insecurities, something a strong partner can sometimes compensate for. So to me when I read your blog and with your newfound confidence I would have expected to see you lay down the law a little more and provide the leadership all children need (and crave). And thereby eradicating (not ignoring) some of the undesired consequences that harm you and your baby in the long run.

    Leadership is never static and can be relaxed (using trust-but-verify) as the guardrails of acceptable behavior are established and affirmed. The aperture of freedom can over the years gradually be opened to full when they are 18. Only then will they really be responsible for themselves.

    I speak from experience, and not because my 11-year old daughter came out of the womb being perfect, no child does. It takes serious and constant work and devotion to apply and adapt a leadership style that does not stifle their freedom too much, but gradually unwraps their own identity of freedom to yield the beautiful, strong and confident creatures humans can be.

    Real freedom can only exist with carefully applied paradoxical rules to protect collective freedom. The rules of freedom that also allows parents (and everyone else) to have theirs, even in our childrens’ presence.

    I will really believe in your newfound glory of your personal life when I see you establish the protection of a healthier you first, and then your child’s. Without the need for prescription medicine, as we as humans are designed to live without.

    So there, that’s my unsolicited advice to you. Sorry not to automatically join-in on the pageantry of cheap positivity I could never trade my perspective for. Do with it what you must 😉

    • Oh Georges…don’t take things so seriously and literally. It will take years off your life. 😁 My little rants may be unrelatable to you because I know Giselle is a powerhouse eater…and that’s amazing! But you are the minority my friend and I promise (and I speak for most moms just like me) it’s not for lack of trying. While I’m sure there are parents who are negligible with these things, I can assure you I’m not. And I’m at peace with this and know I’m raising a super strong willed little girl with a picky palate. The end. When she willingly eats bed first bite of filet I’m sure I’ll be praying for the days of goldfish and chicken nuggets to save my grocery bill. Hope you are well!

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