I Still Need My Mom at 42

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Today was shit. 

I woke up sweating and whimpering from pain at 4am from what I knew was a kidney stone. I had the same pain at the end of my last pregnancy and it was worse than any labor pain I’d ever experienced. So bad that I couldn’t forget that feeling and my husband convinced me that we needed to go to the ER and took charge of everything from that point on. 

My mom, who lives 45 minutes away, was at the hospital before I even got my IV. The woman who wears lipstick to check the mail came without a shred of makeup to take my toddler back home and hold down the fort. She sent me to bed and when I woke up made me toast with butter and even cut it up. I’m 42, married and have two kids, but I still need my mom to coddle me when the shit hits the fan. 

I’m not just lucky to have a mom. I’m lucky to have MY mom. As I get older and see the shitty cards so many people around me are dealt- some who’ve lost their moms and others who just have crappy ones, I know how lucky I am and I never take that for granted. She will still drop anything, no matter what for her children. No questions, no excuses. All of it goes out the window if my brother and I need her. It’s how she’s built and she bred it into my DNA. And it’s the way I will teach my girls to be. 

As if she’s not enough, my best friend almost immediately dropped groceries I needed at my doorstep and then a few hours later went and picked up my pain meds and brought them to me. She’s unequivocally the BEST best friend and the fact that my girls see our relationship and these moments of helping each other, is everything to me. They’re seeing compassion and kindness and selflessness between two women, and in a society dripping with mean girls, it’s crucial. And thanks to all of you who have sent such sweet DMs. 

I’m in so much pain and so uncomfortable, but I feel completely taken care of and loved. Now I’m going to hang out with my hospital-issued strainer to catch a stone. 

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