I have BIG plans for this blog. I go to sleep and wake up thinking about it. I’m Type A, so that amplifies it even more.

You guys might think this is just a forum for me to vent. And while it does serve that purpose, I believe it has serious legs. Why? Because in the short time I’ve been blogging, my little venting sessions get THOUSANDS of views. Thousands. I don’t know that many people, so I have no idea how this is happening but I am humbled, honored and a little bit anxious. I just know in my bones that some of the ideas I have to make this, itty bitty soapbox, into something that generates revenue doing what I LOVE is in the cards someday.

But, these things don’t happen overnight. They take time, blood, sweat, tears….and MONEY.

I am thankful to have a real day job. One that is stable, allows me to stay fresh in my craft,work with people I love and pays my bills (remember I did just buy a house). But I am adamant about NOT using that money to fund blog-related ventures. Call it a separation of church and state. So I needed something else.

I don’t want to “invest”.

I can’t exactly hook on Boca Raton Boulevard. I mean I could, but ew.

I still want the eggs my ovaries produce so that idea is out.

And selling blood/plasma is so college.

Then, just like all things happen in the universe, there was a small moment of clarity. Lorin, my ex-workwife (she’s only an ex because I left the job but I still am madly in love with her and she’ll always have my heart) went down the Rodan + Fields path.

I know. I know. But just listen.

Lorin is not a smooth-talking bullshitter. She’s real. She’s  honest and she’s a hard worker.


This is Lorin at I. At work. It was a real paying job and my most favorite ever.


She actually has the best day job (mine and a million other former counselors’ dream job) of running a day camp. But not just any day camp…the best one there ever was. When her sister started using and selling the products, Lorin tried them, mostly because her family of 5 sibs and a small army of adorable offspring does everything together. They are literally Coral Springs royalty and everyone knows them. I’m not kidding. One day, mark my words, there will be a ribbon cutting for a “DeMaio Drive” and people will come out in droves because they are THAT loved.

After her own success in the R+F stuff, Lorin was soon on board repping the line herself.  And not long after, she wanted to get her hooks into me. And because it’s Lorin, I listened because I know we share many of the same opinions and neuroses.

She told me about her success in a ridiculously short time, and guys I couldn’t believe it. She talked about how easy and natural it was because she’s actually using the products so she speaking not only from place of knowledge, but also passion. And I’ll admit, I was intrigued.

What I had NOT told anyone, including her, was that I had already been using the products for about 2 months. I did this purposely, as a little experiment. Everyone always throws up dramatic before and after pics (which I am totally a sucker for) and there are oohs and ahhs from the crowd. But I wanted to see first hand if anyone noticed anything different about my skin, in person, before I went public.

After only a few weeks people asked if I had botox, had anything done to my eyes and told me I looked so relaxed and refreshed (I’m not – I’m an effing full-time working mother to a 6-year-old with more swagger than Jay Z and Beyoncé combined.)

I marinated on this development, and Lorin’s pitch. Then, literally in the next couple of days I saw she recruited MORE women I have history with, and respect and love from camp.

The FOMO is rapidly setting in and I’m having a visceral response – the physical need to jump the shark and jump on the bandwagon. Lots of jumping.

I am a “We” now, so I brought it up to SLS to see if he thought I should jump.

“Babe, you have nothing to lose. You love the stuff already. You’ll sell what you sell and even if you only covered your car payment every month, isn’t that worth it? Plus…you’re always into a good Ponzi scheme.”

He’s totally right. About all of it. And you can all relax. Don’t get up in my grill and send me hate mail, I’m making a joke (kind of) and we don’t need to take ourselves so seriously. Besides, I know it’s not a “Ponzi scheme”. It’s called “Network Marketing” now.

Whatever it is, I’m doing it and here’s why:

It may just give me the extra income I need to fund my labor of love – this blog and everything I have planned for it – without touching my real money.

I see a noticeable difference in my skin and if you know me at all you know that when I like something I have a big mouth. And a big mouth in this scenario = success.

My daughter asked me how old I was last week and when I told her, 38, she said, “Oh mommy! I don’t want you to get white hair and crumbly skin.” Me neither kitten, me neither.

Lorin said it’s totally like being back in a sorority, but we’re getting paid. And I LOVED my sorority (she and I were in the same one 6 years apart BeeTeeDubs, so I know she knows what she’s talking about. Shout out to my University of Florida ZTA’s)

And here’s my promise.

I WILL NOT become one of those walking commercials where my Facebook feed is filled with R+F all day everyday. I WILL share my experiences through pics and vids occasionally, but in MY way – which means they will most likely be laced with sarcasm and inappropriate language and analogies. I WILL NOT get all preachy and salesy, but the reality is that a blogger’s gotta do what a blogger’s gotta do.


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So if you love Whine & Cheez(its) and you wanna see it take off, then please, for the love of god, buy something from me (I’m only half kidding). But seriously, if you do, I’ll even send you a little “hot off the presses”, W&C logo-ed swag.

Hope Rodan + Fields is ready for this sassy, foul-mouthed little blogger!