This picture is from my high school boyfriend’s senior prom. I was a sophomore wearing horrible satin dyeable shoes (because, the 90s). When we broke up I thought I would die. My 18-yr-old heart and mind was devastated. At that time I felt like it was the end of the world. Then I moved on and had lots of those moments.
My parents got divorced.
I got married, as did my mom.
I had a baby.
I got divorced.
My mother was diagnosed with breast cancer (but she’s a badass survivor).
I suffered a paralyzing miscarriage.
I had another healthy baby girl.
And it goes on and on. Life is filled with ups and downs, and I’ve always hated when others point out how much worse it COULD be. Sure, there is always someone somewhere living a nightmare worse than yours. But we are allowed to feel pain from the things WE face, because that’s what shapes us.
It’s what enables us to heal and grow.
I look at that picture, and aside from the horrible shoes, cheesy updo and obligatory prom pose, I know exactly what I took away from that experience. I think as mothers (and as people), we’re quick to compare our circumstances to those of others and feel guilt for whining about our woes. Or we have others who are quick to remind us about “so-and-so, who has it much worse”.
???????? Just ???????? stop.
Upset from a break up? Feel it. Pissed off at your spouse? Feel it. Bummed you didn’t get that job? Feel it. Being vulnerable and admitting you’re upset doesn’t make you weak or void of compassion. It makes you a fucking rockstar who isn’t afraid to feel emotion and learn from it. And find some peace in knowing that the things that feel impossible right now will not always feel that way. We all have shit. But your shit is yours and nobody gets to tell you how you’re allowed to feel. I mean, I wish somebody told me I was allowed to pluck my eyebrows back then, but that too is part of my personal growth ????.
So whatever is is, feel it, move on and learn from it. We’re all human.