5 Truths for Breastfeeding Moms – NEW for Huffington Post

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Fresh content today from me on The Huffington Post ALL about some truths breastfeeding moms may face. Including but not limited to, the painful mid-sleep rollover and milk hubris. Oh and the fact that you can look like you got implants on the way home from Publix!

It’s all in there!

Bellefit Postpartum Girdles and Corsets

NEW Yo! Momma: Navigating the Co-Sleeping Trap

Who’s ready for another collabo with my boys over at Daddy Mind Tricks!?!?

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Welcome to our monthly joint venture we like to call, Yo! Momma. We open up the mailbag to answer the questions from our most faithful readers and bring definitive resolution in the age-old battle of the sexes.

We do so in the only way we know how: with zero filter and 100-percent brutal honesty.

In our last edition, we took on the topic of contributing more around the house and how to avoid looking like a bumbling, stumbling, moronic father figure that a TV sitcom would proudly feature.

In the latest edition collaboration of the best parenting bloggers on the Internet, we’re discussing the idea of co-sleeping and how it can wreak havoc on a couple’s opportunities to enjoy a little sexy time.

You ask. We attempt to answer … and then Rachel from Whine & Cheez(Its) drops some knowledge on your ass to provide the feminine point of view that we all truly need in our lives.

Welcome to another edition of … Yo! Momma.

My wife is all about the co-sleeping with our 13-month old and I’m ready to resume irregularly sexy time stuff. How the hell do I get the kid out of our bed so I can finally have some fun with wifey?

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Pete: Welp, this sounds like the perfect chance to get a little creative outside of the bedroom, if you ask me. We don’t have to hit the time machine on sex life and travel back to the days of missionary position only pleasure under the lights before retreating back to our separate beds after an evening of the Donna Reed Show.

Not having enough sex in your own bed at night because your kid is in the way? Turn up the heat on some daytime fun whenever you can get the chance. Hire a babysitter and get it on in a Burger King bathroom like Humpty (Shock-G) from Digital Underground. Ship the kid off to family member for a night. Get a hotel and fuck like rabbits all over some freshened towels.

My point: don’t be afraid to find some creativity in the game of romance.

Now, that being said, why the hell is your toddler still sleeping in your bed and not in his or her own? Handle that. Perhaps a romp or two in your kitchen while the kid is watching Sesame Street in the other room will help unload some stress and provide clarity into how to get this little one doing 10-12 hours nightly in another bed.

Putting first things first, though – have a conference with wifey, get on the same page about the sleep training situation and get out of the hell that is co-sleeping with a toddler … before your little general can no longer stand tall and proud.

Rachel: First of all – back the fuck up. Chances are she’s not co-sleeping because she enjoys that hot furnace of a baby body all up on her, with sporadic kicks to the gut, arms across her face and a general disrespect for personal space. She’s basically at her “personal touch” limit.

Navigating the ever-changing sleeping patterns of an infant/toddler (among all of the other shit) is no joke and can make you feel like you’re taking crazy pills and hallucinating from sleep deprivation. She’s also probably bombarded by those passive-aggressive “sanctimommies” on the regular, about how their little angel was sleeping alone, through the night at 6 days old. That’s always super fun.

Bottom line? She’s fucking exhausted and tending to a child in those first few years leaves little time for rest, and yes even regular sexcapades. She wants to have sex with you, I promise (unless you’re a raging asshole). She’s just trying to figure it all out. Maybe instead of making her feel like all you want is to boot the kid from the bed so you can knock some boots, show some compassion.

Ask her what you can do to help with the transition. Offer to take another feeding. Do things proactively … sink filled with bottles? Clean it. Running low on diapers? Grab them at the store. Show her you are all about the co-parenting thing and that she has a partner, not just a sex-deprived spouse.

Nothing is more of a panty dropper than a partner who’s understanding AND all-in and hands-on with the kid stuff. It will happen. I promise.

Now it’s YOUR turn. Do you have some more questions for our crackpot team of experts? Drop us a line in the comments section, or hit us up on email at DaddyMindTricks [at] gmail.com and maybe we’ll feature your question in the next edition of Yo! Momma.

New Year, New Perspective – NEW from Lifestyle Magazine

My January article for Lifestyle Magazine (page 15) is all about a New Year and New Perspective.

Particularly…PEACE. And not just the kind of peace you have when you get to pee alone.

 

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Happy New Year!!

xx

Rachel

Do the Holiday Hustle – NEW from Lifestyle Magazine

In the thick of the Holidays and I’m talking all about the holiday hustle in my latest article for Lifestyle Magazine (page 15)

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It’s Better to Give – NEW From Lifestyle Magazine

November’s article for Lifestyle Magazine (page 21) is all about giving thanks.

Not only is Thanksgiving my favorite holiday, but I am HELLA thankful this year, that’s for sure. Let’s make sure our kids know what it means to be thankful and why it’s so important.

xx,

Rachel

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Fright Night – NEW for Lifestyle Magazine

Halloween is coming!

Are you ready for the slew of Elsas that will invade your neighborhood with their ill-fitting wigs and Olaf-shaped candy receptacles (guys, for real, when will the Frozen thing be over?)

Check out my latest article for Lifestyle Magazine Boca/Delray (Page 21) and get the scoop on a few Palm Beach County Halloween Happenings.

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Who Hates Homework!?!?

Spoiler alert…I DO! Effing hate it.

I’m not afraid to admit that some of it has me scratching my head. And by some of it, I mean the math. I have a bachelors and a masters degree, but sometimes 2nd grade math makes me question my intelligence.

This month’s article for Lifestyle Magazine – Boca/Delray (PAGE 19) is all about homework. And I have to give photo cred to my 7-yr-old since she took the picture. She was very adamant about my positioning and the artistic direction, saying, “Mom you really need to listen to me, I’m just want to make you look good.”

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xx,

Rachel

My Husband is NOT My Best Friend – New for The Huffington Post

So I have a confession…my husband is not my best friend. And we are both totally cool with it.

Read all about it in today’s article for The Huffington Post!

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8 Relatable Things About “Bad Moms”

One of the most talked about/anticipated movies in the carpool line recently is Bad Moms. And for good reason.

We’re used to seeing blockbusters detailing the raucous humor behind a bromance, but let’s be honest, most movies with female leads end up gravitating toward the cheesy side (except Bridesmaids…that was a winner).

Well…all I have to say is that I was lucky enough to see the advanced screening of Bad Moms and it did NOT disappoint. (Also, Dear Mila Kunis, I’m more in love with you now than I was before and that’s A LOT!)

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While it’s hilarious and maybe at times a little exaggerated (but seriously, not by much), it’s such a good representation of motherhood on so many levels. The characters range from single mom to working mom to SAHM and there’s literally something everyone can latch on to in all of these women.

After practically peeing my pants  from laughing so hard too many times to count throughout the movie (thanks a lot childbirth), I came up of a list of the most relatable things Bad Moms brings to the table.

1. It’s hard to find real mom friends and you have to weed through some real bullshit personalities (and even get burned) to find them in the end. But it’s worth it when you find your true momsquad.

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2. If you’re in a marriage where your husband expects you to do everything for the kids (especially just because you are a SAHM), you better nip that in the bud and level the scales sister.

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3. Everyone needs that one inappropriate mom friend with no filter who just does not give a shit.

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4. Alpha PTA moms are the worst and can suck the happiness out of any situation.

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5. Raising kids is effing hard.

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6. All moms need some time away from the kids to let loose once in a while.

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7. You never know what is going on behind closed doors – with someone’s kids, in someone’s marriage, with someone’s psyche – so don’t rush to judgement and be kind to one another.

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8. As moms, all we can do is the best we can; and your best may not be mine and vice versa.

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So do yourself a favor mamas, see this movie as soon as it’s out.

And when you get to the hoodie/sweatshirt scene, if you do not suffocate from laughing uncontrollably, know that something is very wrong with you. Very wrong.

xx

Rachel