I’m a little stressed out, so this is going to be a short one. Facebook is FILLED with everyone’s 1st day of school pics and it’s making my blood pressure rise.

Aside from the normal craziness of my life (and that’s not being dramatic, it’s really something else), my child starts kindergarten this week.  Jesus Christ the stress that comes along with it.  I can’t even imagine what getting her ready for college is going to be like.

It was so different when I was in kindergarten down here.  You were zoned for a school and you went there. Period. End of Story.

Oh but not in Boca.  You could be zoned for one school for general population and another for gifted, then there are lotteries. Don’t even get me started on the effing lotteries.  Basically 40,000 people (slight exaggeration) apply for 110 spots. There’s no rhyme or reason and siblings of current students aren’t even 100% guaranteed spots. And they’re free, so everyone applies and it’s a shit show of epic proportions.  And of course there’s privates.  There’s so many options it’s beyond stressful…like Cheesecake Factory’s menu.

Once you get through that, and you make your decision, the emails start rolling in.  One after another. Summer reading lists (even though they really can’t yet read. And if you are one of those parents who’s going to show off and say, “Mine can read! She has been since she’s 3”, save it.), uniform fittings, intros from all of the teachers, PE uniforms, supplies for dance and music. I’m pretty sure the costs associated with Kindergarten ramp-up are more than my college supplies. For real.

Then you get the school supply list and you want to throw up.  I’m pretty sure when I went to Kindergarten I got a backpack, lunchbox, pencil case and some folders, including the obligatory “duotangs” (and then graduated to a TrapperKeeper down the road).  The lists these days rival my grocery list, hell even my bucket list!  I LOVE school supply shopping, Seriously. But I also love my sanity, and the idea of rivaling the crazies pillaging the school supply aisle is enough to make gray hairs sprout out of my too-young-to have-a-kindergartener head.  So I did what every other sane (working) mother in Boca does.  That’s right, I paid someone to do it for me.  There are legit companies that do this. Can you believe that???? Genius.  Send them a list, pay a little mark-up. Get your neatly boxed school supplies including paper towels, hand sanitizer and bandaids days later.  Worth. Every. Penny.  When I picked them up and opened the box I literally understood how John Travolta felt when he opened the brief case in Pulp Fiction. Coincidentally, the only thing NOT on the list were duotangs.


And then on top of the logistical stress, there’s the emotional stress.  How is my child in Kindergarten. How???? I feel like I just dropped her off at preschool with a backpack that was bigger than her and a completely unbalanced lunch of goldfish and drinkable yogurt because she refused to eat anything else.  And while she may be over making macaroni necklaces, I am NOT.  And now she’s going to be in a school where she’s the littlest again, but there are BIG kids. BIG KIDS.  While I will not miss the “clientele” at her preschool, I will miss the loving, nurturing, tiny little environment she was in for 3 years filled with hugs and kisses from the teachers, being on a first name basis with almost everyone, and peace of mind that she was still being “babied” just a little.

I am an emotional mess and it’s gonna take everything in me not to do an ugly, hyperventilating, snot filled cry when I drop her off.  Wish me luck!