This is the second time I’ve worn this dress. The first time, I was in a much different place, having just suffered a miscarriage and attending a wedding. My body still thought it was pregnant and I wanted something flowy that would hide any evidence of how my body failed me. I was sad, numb, disconnected and suffering. I smiled for pictures, sipped my wine when I really wanted to hook it up to an IV, and held it together until I got back home to resume my pity party after my older daughter was asleep.
Fast forward to now, and I chose this dress to wear for a closing party at a big writer’s conference. This time I wanted flowy because I eat all the carbs. Perhaps there was also part of me that no longer wanted to look at this beautiful dress hanging in my closet and see it steeped in sadness.
I was plagued with mom guilt for leaving my two girls and husband for the week. I spent my trip hustling, learning and soaking in time with friends – old and new. I put on my dress and again went to a party. But this time I was far from sad. I was downright giddy. On a high. I danced my ass off that night. I missed my kids but took full advantage of not having any mom responsibility. I stayed out late knowing there would be no carpool, no lunch-packing and no whining.
So, my dress is now steeped in happiness and good vibes. And I came back feeling the exact same way. As mothers, we take on a lot, all the while joking about needing a break but never actually taking one. We feel guilt about passing the baton to our partners. We worry our kids will miss us too much and our absence will disrupt their lives. But the truth is, we have to take what WE NEED too. We are entitled to these moments and it’s all part of #MakingOverMotherhood.
Help me honor #MaternalMentalHealthAwarenessMonth by sharing your own #MakingOverMotherhood picture/story & tagging Motherhood Understood & The Blue Dot ProjectLet’s empower millions of moms by showing the messier side of motherhood. 👊🏻❤️