Yup. That’s a tampon on my dining room chair. How did it get there?

Well….like many toddlers, mine is more impressed by things around the house than her real toys, and she especially loves tampons. She screams every morning for the box sitting on my bathroom window sill and proceeds to throw them around my house like fucking confetti. I find them in my closet. Inside my shoes. In her dollhouse. They’re everywhere. And now she’s figured out that there’s actually something inside the wrapper and likes to open them. And people wonder why mothers are teetering on the brink of insanity.