I’ve had it.
I know I should try to have a positive attitude. I get that I’m supposed to “embrace” this new normal. But I’m not there yet.
Virtual school starts tomorrow for my older one and it already feels like a complete shitshow. I know the teachers are working so hard to make all of this happen. This isn’t a reflection on them, it’s just collateral damage in the state of our world right now. I love teachers. I respect them. I’m grateful for them.
But I personally never wanted to be a teacher. Yet here I am.
My 3-yr-old started virtual preschool a while ago and I appreciate the effort because I adore her school and her teachers. But most days it’s a fight to get her to sit in front of the computer and sing songs while learning the best way we can right now with her friends.
And I don’t currently have that fight left in me.
My older one is making a huge transition to middle school next year. This kid has been working for almost two years like a boss after switching schools. She worked her ass off. and so did her teachers. We became like a finely oiled machine.
Just before our world changed and school was cancelled indefinitely, she was exactly where she was supposed to be. Then everything went dark. And now, we somehow have to pick up the pieces, but virtually.
I’m concerned how losing all of this time will translate to the following school year.
I’m sad that my youngest lost her first year of preschool and my oldest lost her last year of elementary.
My husband keeps reminding me that our kids will remember all the extra time they got with us instead of the disruption in school. And I hope he’s right.
But I broke today, reading what felt like a million emails regarding virtual school. I cried, sitting on my bathroom floor, because it’s all so much. While I love a positive attitude, I also think it’s healthy to honor these feelings as well.
So, if you’re feeling it too, I’m right there with you mama.