I’m an over-sharing open book. I’ve talked about my own divorce. I’ve written about it. I’ve been interviewed on podcasts and TV about it. And as much as I share my life here, I have a some things that are off limits.
I do not bash my ex. I don’t even talk about him. I don’t share detailed gripes, challenges or even successes of our relationship and subsequent divorce. It’s very purposeful.
I’m a child of divorce (well technically I was 22). I know what it’s like to hear parents talk about one another and feel the weight. It’s not great. I can’t even imagine what it would have been like if those conversations were brought to social media when I was younger.
So, when I got divorced, even before this account was born, I made the conscious decision not to air my dirty divorce laundry for the sake of my child.
I see so many divorce related accounts slinging mud at exes, making rude memes, creating mean/spirited reels, and it hurts my heart.
Listen, nobody gets divorced because they are blissfully happy. They do it because the marriage is no longer viable. And I applaud anyone who is willing to be vulnerable and give a voice and validation to so many others who might be navigating the same journey. It’s helped me heal in so many ways to connect with other people who have stood where I have. I’ve gotten heartwarming, meaningful messages from people telling me the same. It’s humbling and cathartic and incredible.
But when I see people openly putting exes on blast (even if they totally deserve it ????) , I cringe thinking about the kids who will stumble upon this content and feel shitty. My daughter derives absolutely zero benefit from seeing me disparage her father and she is my priority.
I love building community over the messier parts of life, but just keep in mind that you are creating a digital footprint of your divorce experience for all to see. That includes your kids.
If you’re raging, seeing red, breathing fire, vent to your best friend. You still get it off your chest without publicly sharing something that could be emotionally traumatizing for a child you are coparenting.
Nobody wins in that small moment of vindication you may feel. You know?