Today I’m thankful.

When I was a mom the first time around, I worked full-time in a demanding job. I had childcare everyday (which is where most of my salary went). I didn’t get to attend mommy and me. I didn’t get to be at my daughter’s preschool whenever I wanted. Sure, she still thrived. She didn’t really know any different and didn’t feel jipped.  
I did.

But today, I got to spend the day at my younger daughter’s preschool to help with their Thanksgiving feast. I got to hold her little hand. I got to watch teachers love and coddle these sweet little children. I got to watch the kids in action while they laughed, played and learned. I got to see the loving environment that I am so grateful for every single day, instead of just hear about it after the fact. I got to sit on the front lines and see my toddler soak up everything I, as a parent, adore about her school.

I’ve been on both sides of the table. I’ve been that mom who works in an office where her bosses could care less about school shows. I couldn’t be room mom because of my job. I couldn’t drop everything to watch my girl in her element. 

And today taught me two things. 

Giving up a nice corporate paycheck to carve out my own career, which is not always easy, is completely worth it. And second, guess what all of the kids who did not have parents there were doing? NOTHING DIFFERENT! They weren’t crying because I was there and their parents weren’t. They weren’t sad or distraught. They were happy and joyful and engaged. They didn’t skip a beat. 

We make ourselves crazy feeling guilt over circumstances that impact our ability to “show up”. We worry our kids will feel different or even resentful. WE FEEL THAT. But I don’t think that they do and that actually made me feel better about all of the feelings I harbored not being able to do it for my first baby. 

So, whichever side of the table you are on, know that you are KILLING IT. There is no right or wrong. Each side has its ups & downs but at the end of the day, we are all called mama. The seat you sit in at the motherhood table doesn’t make you more or less of a mother. Be thankful, no matter where you are sitting.