This was me at 31 right about to go back to work on the heels of maternity leave after delivering my first daughter. I brought her into the office to meet my coworkers knowing that soon I’d be coming back solo to continue my career.
It was a career in public relations that I loved and curated over a couple of decades through Miami, Tampa and where this pic was taken in Boston (followed by NYC).
I worked hard and earned a few promotions before this little lady entered the scene.
Going back was challenging. My priorities shifted. It wasn’t at all that I cared less about my career. But having a child changed my perspective. Before her, I would emotionally take things home with me from the office – a bad day, an a$$hole client, a rough conversation with a reporter.
Once she arrived, everything was about her. I realized that all of those things, especially the a$$hole clients, could not detract from everything that came with motherhood.
Did I want to just quit and stay home? Sure, sometimes. But I also loved my job and had tremendous guilt going back and leaving my baby with someone else each day. I was also grateful for time to flex my identity outside of motherhood and be in the office in my element. All it was like a giant mindf*ck.
This picture feels like a lifetime ago and while I don’t regret at all continuing my career during that time in my life , I am still filled with unnerving regret for chopping my hair at the suggestion of my ex. That sh!t was hard to come back from
Just know that whether you work or not. Stay home or not. Motherhood is filled with guilt and self-doubt for all of us. All we can do is weather it, learn from our choices and support one another in our respective journeys. Don’t beat yourself up and definitely don’t let any man ever convince you to chop all your hair off.