It’s been a week since my mom fell, broke her femur and needed surgery to put a rod in.
It’s been hard to see a woman who literally never stops, be forced to sit in a hospital bed and not even be able to get up by herself.
But her unapologetic sense of humor has carried us through this shitshow of a week.
Through tears and excruciating pain she asked the doctor to please make sure it was a designer rod.
When she didn’t have immediate relief after a major surgery she was sure he “must have operated on the wrong leg” 
She kept referring to the mechanism they use to help you pee when you can’t get up as “that thing that looks like a sex toy” making the nurses choke into laughing fits.
When the head nurse came in an asked how her stay has been, she said she had no complaints. After 30 seconds of silence she said, “well…if I’m being honest, your day nurses were much nicer to me than your night nurses, your techs were the best out of everyone and I didn’t care for the case manager at all.”
When the nurse asked when she saw the surgeon last, she said, “I haven’t seen him at all. Once surgeons get your money you never see them again.”
Then she went on about how young and gorgeous he was and asked the nurse if she knew him. The nurse gave a very stoic, “yes” and my mom said, “I don’t know what his personality is like but he’s fiiiiine”.
She asked for a magnifying mirror to put makeup on- a small tell that maybe she’s feeling more like herself. Or, some glam in case the hot surgeon came back
She moved to the post surgical rehab yesterday to get intense physical therapy and immediately HATED it upon arrival. Said it was shabby and dated and her bed was terrible. I had a pit in my stomach all night thinking about how miserable she was, and then when I spoke to her this morning she said the staff was lovely and they served shrimp cocktail as an appetizer last night. So I think she might change her tune a little now
She’s fierce, determined and relentless (even the PT staff has to tell her to slow down). I can’t wait to break her free from the shrimp cocktail dump and see her stroll through target soon.
